How to Solve Problems in Marriage Without a Fight

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All couples fight and all couples have problems. As such, all couples will want to how to solve problems in marriage without the kind of fight that worsens the marital woes.

The happiest couples appear to be the ones who air their differences and even fight over their problems. But the difference between divorced couples and happy couples is that the latter know how to fight fair, fight positive and fight in a loving manner even when the problems seem insurmountable for the formers' standards.

Here are the ways that you can solve marital problems without the destructive fights that may lead to the dissolution of your marriage.

Agree to Disagree

During the early stages of your relationship and well into your engagement, you should have learned the first principle of how to solve problems in marriage without destructive fights - agree to disagree. Even when you are madly, crazily and helplessly in love with each other, you will have personality quirks, habits and attributes that the other will not like, much less love. But that does not mean that you do not love and you are not in love with each other either.

You will just have to learn to agree to disagree. You will strive to understand the other person's point of view according to his past experiences, present expectations and future aspirations in the same way that you also want your partner to understand your own point of view. When you have complete understanding on both your sides, you are well on your way to adopting the ways how to solve problems in marriage without the petty fights.

Control Your Negative Emotions

It is a normal human reaction to lash out against an object or subject of negative emotions from simple frustration to intense fury. Your partner may have committed a small transgression like using the credit card for an unnecessary purchase or a big sin like having an extramarital affair. You are justified in your feelings of frustration, fury and other negative emotions since these are all normal for humans.

But you may not be justified in engaging in a barrage of intense anger, scathing criticism and emotional murder of your spouse. Your spouse will not be expected to just sit back, relax and let the abuse continue for he is only human, too. And so the bitter fights begin and this is definitely not the best way how to solve problems in marriage.

Instead, discuss your marital problems in a calm, cool and composed manner. It will be difficult, of course, but you must both work at it because there are no winners in a shouting match - only losers and perhaps amused neighbors that are the only ones getting each of your sides. Just try to keep your anger levels down and start getting your loving levels up.

Last but not least, go for a win-win solution. You will not be happy even when you win in a loving fight but you will be happy when your partner is happy as well. Ultimately, the best way how to solve problems in marriage is to approach these problems as a team and then come out as a stronger unit.

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Greg Deetz has 13 articles online

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How to Solve Problems in Marriage Without a Fight

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This article was published on 2012/02/05