Relationship Problem - Working Through

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What is a relationship problem? It could be anything, but sometimes we tend to label things incorrectly and this in itself becomes a problem. Are you a 'headliner'? Do you label things in such a way that the headline screams 'problem', when in fact it is nothing of the sort?

Far too many of us 'awfulize' about things until they appear to be far worse than they are. Sometimes this is because there is a very strong emotional element involved, but nevertheless, we allow it to grow in our minds until it is totally out of proportion. We then give the 'problem' a headline and it becomes set in stone.

How to deal with 'the problem' becomes a problem in itself because it has become entwined in distortion, confusion, muddle and exaggeration. It then takes a clear head and a great deal of patience to make sense of everything. This takes huge amounts of time and effort - and guess what? It could have all been avoided if we had been able to control our awfulising.

The best way of dealing with awfulising is to start to recognize when it starts to happen. If you can train yourself to do this you will be making a major breakthrough. Then you need to work through your thinking process and try and evaluate in a logical and unemotional way, how to find a positive solution. The emphasis is on positive. Ask yourself questions and you will soon be able to 'unwrap' the problem and get to the heart of the matter. This will give you clarity and the ability to find a solution.

A very simple example might be that a passing remark is made about the fact that you are overweight. You dwell on this. Overweight becomes fat, and then obese, and then ugly.... It goes on until you are so depressed and unhappy that it starts to have a bearing on your relationship.

If you think this through logically and ask yourself questions such as: "Have I put on weight?", "How I look is obviously important to my partner", "What could I do about it?", "Diets don't work - what else can I try?", "Perhaps I could try a vegetarian option", etc., you will be able to work it out and come to a sensible conclusion.

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Christine King has 1 articles online

Christine King is a trained nutritionist. She is a speaker and writer on weight loss and nutrition. Visit if you would like to learn more about the best and healthiest way to lose weight.

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Relationship Problem - Working Through

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This article was published on 2010/03/26
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